Whether the experience was good or bad, the first time going through the endowment ceremony is an experience that a Latter Day Saint will always remember. In an Ex-Mormon Christian Facebook group, I asked 3 questions regarding the first time they went through the temple endowment ceremony. Some people responded with details. Others answered with just a “yes” or “no.”
For each question, I’ll begin by listing the detailed answers and then end with the statistics of how many people answered “yes” and “no.” Let’s get to the first question:
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Question #1 – Did anyone try to mentally prepare you for your endowment ceremony by telling you something like, “Hey, it might feel strange…but that’s normal and expected.”
- I took mental prep class. They told me I wouldn’t understand everything, but not that it would be uncomfortable.
- Yes. We went through the Temple Advancement classes beforehand. These classes still didn’t prepare us for the experience.
- Yes. Right before I went through, I had a very close family member say, “Now, I don’t want you to think about what they’re doing to you, where they’re touching you, or what they’re putting on you. I want you to pay close attention to the blessing she will be giving you.” I remember thinking, “What in the world is she going to be doing to me? And where is she going to touch me?!’
- My son was told, “It might feel like a cult but it’s not.”
- Yes, my sister leaned over to me and said, “Jenny, it may feel like you are joining a cult but just give it time.”
- Yes, My mom had this conversation with me the day before I went through. I was grateful for that at least. Even though I went through a temple prep class, it didn’t actually prepare me for anything!
- No one prepared me. They are embarrassed to really talk about what happens in the temple before someone goes. What they call “sacred” is just embarrassment. If one really knew what happened before entering, they would think twice about going.
- Yes. I remember my older brother telling me that I will think I’m in a cult when I go through the temple.
- No one warned me! I just remember people in the temple wearing robes and men wearing weird hats coming down the escalator. It was so strange and unexpected!
12 people indicated that, “Yes, to some degree, I did receive preparation before going through the endowment ceremony for the first time.” While 11 people indicated that, “No, I did not receive any kind of preparation.”
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Question #2 – At some point during the endowment ceremony, did you feel that it was strange and looked around to see if anyone else might be feeling the same way?
- Yes!!! I wanted to raise my hand and march out, but my entire family was there. They totally do that on purpose for peer pressure!
- Yes. I hated every minute of it. Made me sick to my stomach.
- No, I never looked around because I was afraid God would think I’m not being serious about the temple.
- Yes. The clothing is really weird. Why do I need to wear a fig leaf apron? Yes, I know it represents what Adam and Eve wore, but God removed the aprons and gave them animal skins to wear. Why does Satan where an apron? Why do I need secret handshakes to cross the veil in order to “be with the Lord?” That is the dialog at the veil.
- No, because I was sweating bullets worried about getting things wrong. I had so much fear and anxiety and was frustrated that my mom didn’t try to help me.
- Yes. It seriously freaked me out and I left the church shortly after.
- Yes and I laughed at the men’s hats. My mom pinched me and held back a laugh.
- No, I didn’t dare to.
- Yes! I was sick. I grew up in Star Valley Wyoming where literally everybody is Mormon. I couldn’t believe that all my teachers and leaders and family and friends had gone through that. And that while I was doing baptisms for the dead, everybody else was in doing this whole weird ceremony! And then afterwords, I had to go to a luncheon with my entire extended family and act like everything was cool and totally normal. I spent my whole mission trying desperately to understand and attribute some meaning to it all. But it’s just utter nonsense!
- Yes, I did look around to see if I could see others were freaked out. After going 2 or 3 times, I was done. I finally left the church 3 years ago and feel relieved.
15 people indicated that, “Yes, it felt strange and I looked around to see if other people were feeling the same way.” While 5 people indicated that, “No, I did not look around at other people.”
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Question #3 – After you went through your endowment for the first time, did anyone tell you, “It’s ok if you don’t understand it all right now…just keeping going through the ceremony and you will start to understand it a little better each time.”
- My son was told, “It’s ok if you don’t understand. Continue to attend Temple and it will eventually make sense.” I was a born again Christian at the time and wanted to scream “does that really sound like it’s from God”?!
- Yes. I was told that each time I went I would learn/understand more. I remember being told that prophet Spencer Kimball learned something new every time he went to the temple.
- Yes. The mental concept is that if you don’t understand, you will learn later as you grow in the gospel. Yet, if you ask questions, they will can’t answer them because they don’t know the answers themselves.
- Yes everyone said “Just keep going and it will become clearer.”
- Yes. You just need to keep going and it won’t seem so weird.
- No. I tried to ask and I got told that we can’t talk about it.
20 people indicated that, “Yes, I was told that I would need to just keep going through the endowment ceremony and I will understand it a little more each time.” While only 1 person said, “No,” and that was simply because none of her friends and family were allowed to talk about it.
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Other comments that were made
- I just remember that at that point ALL I wanted was my “Eternal Family.” So I brushed all the weirdness under the rug.
- I loved the endowment during my first time. I went only went maybe only a handful of other times over the next 16 years because it was boring and cut into my “me time”.
- My husband and I were both born and raised LDS. After 17 years of marriage, my husband and I left Mormonism just last year. I hated the temple so much that I only went back a couple of times. I felt really freaked out by it.
- I was shocked and felt a little disturbed. It was nothing like I had pictured. I had no idea the people I loved had this little secret life that they didn’t really talk about where they dressed up in weird clothes and did strange cultish things. I couldn’t sleep that night just thinking about it. I went back twice more in the next few weeks to see if I could make sense of it and I couldn’t! After that, I only went to sealing of close friends and relatives. I stayed 30 more years in the church but didn’t do temples during that time.
- My entire temple experience of this was part of my “shelf.”
- I remember always being bothered that women had to cover their faces. It made me feel like I was innately sinful to just expose my face. Nobody seemed to be able to answer why women had to cover their face. I would have this torn feeling of thinking I had to go to the temple to be a good little Mormon girl but I hated going. I hated the ceremony—it was boring and I hated tying all the dumb strings. I hated the clothes. I hated covering my face. The prayer circle was super weird to watch and I hated going through “the veil”. I remember after my endowments, my mom made me stop and look in the mirror with all my garb on. She told me that I looked so holy and I just wanted to vomit.
- I never went through the endowment ceremony because I left the Church when I was a teen. I remember coming across a transcript of the various endowment ceremonies from over the years, and reading them a few years later. I remember thinking that I couldn’t believe that this is seriously what it was. I thought to myself, “I know my parents, siblings, and extended family to be logical, smart people…yet they did this ceremony and stayed?” It still perplexes me. My parents were temple workers for a few years also. So I know that they know all the things that go on, including many of the names being the same for people. It’s a real head scratcher for me. In the early years of leaving, especially before I came to Christ, I remember being jealous that I would never have a forever family. After reading this endowment transcript, my jealousy quickly vanished. Now I just feel sad that my family believes that a few handshakes are required to get you into God’s presence.
- It was the first time I understood why people called Mormons a cult. It was during the prayer circle specifically. It did not phase my beliefs at the time unfortunately, but I ended up getting out five years later.
- My temple experience caused me to pick up the Bible and start reading it cover to cover over the next year to learn who this God is, that would have us saying and doing such awful things. I went through in 1979 when all the oaths and penalties were still in the ceremony. The Christian minister portrayed as working for the devil was in there as well.
- I was so excited to learn what my new name was going to be. I expected that the name I would be given would be so unique and special. As I walked into one of the rooms, there was a whiteboard with a name on it. When the temple worker saw me, he quickly erased the name. When the temple worker revealed my name to me, he rewrote the same name on the board that he had just erased. I later found out that every girl who went to the temple that day got that same name. There apparently is a calendar cycle where on each day of each month, it is scheduled that every guy receiving their endowments on that specific day all get the same name and every girl receiving their endowments on that specific day all get the same name as well. There is nothing unique or spiritual about it.
- Even though I thought it was weird, I never really questioned it because my dad loves the Lord and I never thought he’d follow something that wasn’t right or true. Obviously, I found out the church isn’t true. I pray that my mom and dad will one day come to know what I know.
- Everything you stated in the group post was said to me. I left the temple for the first time completely underwhelmed and wondering what I missed. It wasn’t a spiritual experience like I was told it would be. It wasn’t deep and full of amazing spiritual knowledge or insight. But like a true Mormon, I convinced myself that I probably just didn’t see or understand the deep stuff and I needed to go to the temple more often and then I would understand. After years and years of going to the temple, it was still the same. Of course, many LDS are going to say I still didn’t see the deep spiritual meaning in the session. No, I actually do see what it is teaching. The thing is, it’s just not that special and when you know the gospel in the Bible, you begin to see that the endowment ceremony is full of false teachings.
- I converted to LDS in high school and went on a mission. At the beginning of my mission when I was at the missionary training center, I went through the temple ceremony for my very first time. It freaked me out. It was so bizarre. We did these blood oaths, making signs to slash our throats, not to reveal the secrets or anything about the temple. We had secret handshakes, signs, and were given a secret name. We approached this huge curtain/sheet where temple workers were behind the curtain. You’d stick your hand through a small hole in the sheet to do special handshakes with the temple worker. I can’t remember everything of course because it’s been about 45 years. I remember you’d touch knees with the person behind the curtain (5 points of fellowship). You’d also whisper the secret name you had to say to get into heaven. The temple worker was supposed to represent either Joseph Smith or Jesus…one of them would let you into heaven. This first experience is what caused me to start having doubts about the truthfulness of this Mormon religion that I was spreading. As I studied the KJV Bible while on my mission, Gods Holy Spirit led me out if the cult. After about a year into my mission. I ran towards the loving saving GRACE of the true Biblical JESUS. THE ONLY GOD THAT SAVES US.
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The purpose of the two pictures below is not to embarrass or disrespect LDS members. But rather to inform those who are not aware of these specific details, people who might be considering joining the LDS Church and anyone else who is interested. Everyone should have a right to this information that is allegedly a very important part of the gospel of Jesus and also a requirement to receive eternal life and enter into God’s presence according to LDS doctrine. If these things are true, it should not be kept a secret from anyone.
For each ordinance, members used to be required to recite the following oaths to secrecy:
1st token of the Aaronic Priesthood: “We, and each of us, covenant and promise that we will not reveal any of the secrets of this, the first token of the Aaronic priesthood, with its accompanying name, sign or penalty. Should we do so; we agree that our throats be cut from ear to ear and our tongues torn out by their roots.“
2nd token of the Aaronic priesthood: “…Should we do so, we agree to have our breasts cut open and our hearts and vitals torn from our bodies and given to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field.“
1st token of the Melchizedek priesthood: “…Should we do so, we agree that our bodies be cut asunder in the midst and all our bowels gush out.”
New Name that you are given at your endowment ceremony: “I, ______, think of the New Name, covenant that I will never reveal the First Token of the Aaronic Priesthood, with its accompanying name, sign and penalty. Rather than do so, I would suffer my life to be taken.”
Around the 1990, the LDS Church sent out a survey of things their members liked and didn’t like. They also wanted to know why former members left Mormonism. These vile oaths were a common complaint. After examining the surveys, the LDS Church leaders allegedly received a “revelation” from God to remove the vile section of these oaths. Today, they are no longer part of the temple endowment ceremony. Interesting how the god of Mormonism changes and seemingly must give in to peer pressure in order to retain members of his one true church.
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As some of the former LDS members stated, members who go through the endowment ceremony are required to take an oath of secrecy regarding the ordinances and things that they do in the temple. But what did Jesus teach?
Matthew 18:20 “I have spoken openly to the world,” Jesus replied. “I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret.”
If the temple endowment ceremony truly was part of the restored gospel, why did Jesus never teach anything in secret while the LDS Church has always said and taught things in secret inside of the temple? If Jesus truly is our example, shouldn’t we do as he did and teach nothing in secret? This indicates that the LDS Church should make the endowment ceremony and ordinances public knowledge for all to know about. But the fact is that if everyone was aware of these things, it would significantly decrease the number of converts to the LDS Church…and the LDS leaders obviously don’t want that to happen.
God never ceases to amaze me when He takes something evil and uses it for His good and perfect purpose. That He can use something like the endowment ceremony to wake people up, guide them out of a false religion and into his true gospel of grace. For more information about temples, check out the article, “Do We Still Need A Temple Today?” (Do We Still Need A Temple Today? – JLLDS Ministries)
If you have a friend who might benefit from this article, please pass it along and ask them what they think. Feel free to let me know your thoughts, things you appreciated or things that you disagreed with in the comment section below. Thank you for reading and God bless!
JLLDS Ministries 