Following Jesus might just be the hardest and most blessed thing we’ll ever do. My testimony of God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Where do I begin and where do I end? There is so much to tell, so much that’s been learned and so much yet to learn. I’ll begin back on the evening of March 2, 2007.
My husband and I were having yet another religious discussion because he no longer wanted to attend church. We were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was born and raised multi-generational LDS. He was raised in the Church from the age of three when his mother converted. I made the comment, “I never doubted Joseph Smith until you did.” This simple statement ignited a huge firestorm. My husband thought I was blaming him for my doubts and uncertainty. In fact, I had never given any of my own thought into the truthfulness of the church, Joseph Smith, or anything else the church taught. I felt that I was lucky and blessed to be born under the covenant and into a wonderful family that already had the fullness of the gospel. I married him, a return missionary, after just 7 months of knowing him, in the Salt Lake Temple. I had written a Dear John letter to my non-Mormon boyfriend 2 years prior while he was in military boot camp because I trusted my parents’ belief system and believed that the only way to true happiness was for me to marry in the temple and have a family also born into the covenant.
On March 5, 2007, after 20 tumultuous years of marriage and four beautiful boys, my husband angrily moved out of our home. I filed for divorce the next day. So begins my journey into hours and hours of study and learning for myself. It took a couple of years for me to feel the need to legitimately know something for myself. By then, my new husband, the one to whom I wrote that Dear John letter to, and I were visiting my family in Washington. My parents had a 3-hour long discussion with us, and my dad gave my husband some material to read, study, and ponder. Dad asked Mike, “After all these years, don’t you think that you owe me?” Mike responded, “I will read this material, but if I find it’s a lie, then it’s a lie.” Dad said, “If it’s true, then it’s true, and if it’s a lie, it’s a lie.” Some of the questions Mike had for Dad and Mom could not be answered by them. They just said, “We don’t know, we just have faith.”
As Mike read through the material, he had many questions for me as to why we believe some of the things we believe. I surely didn’t know as I had never read the Bible with the exception of particular verses that were a part of my lesson manuals for my church classes. The first couple of years of our marriage, Mike and I attended each other’s churches together. Then after a while, we didn’t go at all. It was easier that way. Eventually, we both felt too distanced from church and regular worship. One Sunday we went together to Christ Fellowship in McKinney, the church that my step-son had originally found through his high school friends. In the parking lot, as we arrived, the mother of one of my son’s friends called out to me. We talked and before the end, she invited us to sit in on her life group Bible study. We agreed to come, and from there my journey took off.
The first night we attended, I learned that the couple who lead this Bible study were former LDS. At the end of the study one evening, the wife and I were talking. She said the following to me. “You know Jesus is God don’t you?” I was caught completely off guard and didn’t know what she was trying to convey to me, but I knew Jesus was NOT God. I asked Mike what she meant by that. He led me to some verses in the Bible and I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Isaiah 7:14 said, “Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”
What does Immanuel mean? Read Matthew 1:23, “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.”
But LDS theology teaches that God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are separate beings, but you can read in Mosiah 15:1-8, “1. And now Abinadi said unto them: I would that ye should understand that God himself shall come down among the children of men and shall redeem his people. 2. And because he dwelleth in flesh, he shall be called the Son of God, and having subjected the flesh to the will of the Father, being the Father and the Son. 3. The Father, because he was conceived by the power of God; and the Son, because of the flesh; thus becoming the Father and the Son. 4. And they are one God, yea, the very Eternal Father of heaven and of earth. 5.And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit, or the Son to the Father, being one God, suffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation, but suffereth himself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out and disowned by his people. 6. And after all this, after working many mighty miracles among the children of men, he shall be led, yea, even as Isaiah said, as a sheep before the shearer is dumb, so he opened not his mouth. Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father. 8. And thus God breaketh the bands of death, having gained the victory over death; giving the Son power to make intercession for the children of men.”
Having never read the Bible in its entirety, I bought it on CD and listened to it nonstop while driving to and from work over a four-month period. I would come home and make notes, read, and study. The two main highlights that changed my life and my beliefs are:
1. Jesus is God in the flesh. He came to this earth to save and redeem us from our sins. (This is even in the Book of Mormon which I had read multiple times yet I never understood this nor was it taught in Mormon doctrine) How amazing it was for me to realize this!!! Jesus is not my brother, He is my Father in heaven who came to save us all. And after he died on the cross for our sins and paid the price for our sins and said, “It is finished,” it was finished. The prophecies of the Old Testament prophets were fulfilled. Forgiveness is a free gift to us, and all we have to do is receive this gift. In doing so, He promises His Spirit to be with us, and we are adopted unto Him and are His. He then lives and dwells within us through the Holy Spirit which He promised to send in His place. You can read these truths in Isaiah, Hebrews, the four gospels, Romans, and Acts. 2. We are saved by God’s grace, not by works. My first response to learning this was, “No, we are saved by grace AFTER all we can do, 2 Nephi 25:23.” Goodness, what can we do that God cannot? Only the power and grace of God can save us. The teachings of God’s grace are easily learned about in Romans, Acts, and Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
I was stunned and relieved, quite frankly, to learn that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves. God loves us so much that He came to this earth, took on the form of a physical body to save us from ourselves. In the Old Testament, God (Elohim, the plural form of the name El) created the world, built a nation, led them out of bondage and led them in the form of a cloud or fire throughout their time in the wilderness. He taught them. He saved them time and time again. They were given laws and covenants to abide by, and His prophets prophesied of what was to come with the Messiah. In the New Testament, as promised, the Messiah was born and named Immanuel so all would/could know that God was with them. In the four gospels, Jesus teaches about who He is. Many of His people would not believe him. Before ascending to heaven, He promised to send His Spirit to those who believe, to always be with us.
You see, He has never left us; there was not a need for his Church to be restored (Matthew 16:13-18). Who are we, mere mortals, to think that we can do anything that God can’t do or hasn’t already done? The work has been done, the work was finished. He said so on the cross (John 19:30). The gift has been bought and paid for (1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 1 Peter 1:18-19). Literally, all we have to do is chose to receive his gift of forgiveness and acknowledge that Jesus is God, and that he has saved and redeemed us (Ephesians 1:7) . I can’t even tell you how many times throughout my life I felt guilty for not being worthy. I would go days or weeks without praying because I felt so unworthy. How sad. God is our Father, and He wants to have a relationship with us. I know that He has always been with me throughout my life experiences. I have felt Him, but I had no idea how powerful and wonderful He truly is.
We are all born under the sin of Adam and Eve, and because they fell, God created a plan of redemption for his creation. In Ephesians chapters 1 and 2, I learned who I am in Christ. I am chosen. I am holy. I am blameless. I am adopted. I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I am sealed. I am loved. I am saved.
Because I believe in Jesus Christ, I am His, and I have assurance of eternal life…. that is His promise (1 John 5:13).
John 3:16 says, “For God so love the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
There is no power greater than God’s. I believe if we come to know who He really is, we will know that there was no one before Him and there will be no one after Him.
Isaiah 43:10 says, “Ye are my witnesses, saith the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.”
After reading/listening and learning everything the Bible teaches, I then turned to reading about what the Mormon Doctrine teaches in depth. I’ve listened to the book Rough Stone Rolling, I’ve read the Essays on the church website after reading the CES letter. I’ve read church history articles where doctrines taught by one prophet have been changed by another prophet time and time again. God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. Hebrews 13:3 says, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” I’ve read about blood atonement, which was a doctrine that was taught in the temple while I was attending but has been removed since then. I’ve listened to Mormon Stories on YouTube. I could go on and on about what I’ve read. I have been consumed with the need to know. I did not want to find out that everything I was taught is not true. But learning the truths of the Bible, God’s living word for us, about God’s gift of salvation, I cannot deny or remain quiet any longer.
There are many members of the LDS church who are leaving the church or being ex- communicated just for questioning LDS history or doctrines that have changed over the years. Sadly, many of them, after losing faith in the doctrine, have no faith at all. They believe the Bible to be false also. The Dead Sea Scrolls prove otherwise, and the Holy Spirit proves otherwise as well. It is my testimony that God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are one in being. This same God came to earth and became flesh in the body of Jesus Christ (for a wretch like me) and paid the penalty for my sins. He cleansed our sin with His blood, and He ascended to heaven, but sent His Spirit to remain with us. By accepting this free gift of atoning sacrifice, we become adopted and one with Christ, and we become a part of his body and his church, He, being the head and we the body. We are his church.
Romans 12:5, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Ephesians 3:6, 4:15-16 testify to this. Our good works come from our love for Him and our desire to serve others and bring others to Him, not so we can save ourselves or prove that we are worthy; these are impossible tasks. Our good works are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). It is hard to comprehend. When I hear the saying “The good news of the gospel,” it is indeed good news! I have been forever changed. I say these things to help you know and understand what I believe to be true, not to try to change how you believe. That is up to your own study and prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit.
John 10:25-30 says, “Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father’s name, they bear witness of me. 26. But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. 27. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28. And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. 30. I and my Father are one.”
Much love, Mona Lee
Song by Lauren Daigle – You Say
“You Say I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak. You say I am held when I am falling short. When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours. And I believe, oh I believe.
What you say of me I believe. The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me. In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak. You say I am held when I am falling short. When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours. And I believe, oh I believe.
Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet. You have every failure God, and You’ll have every victory.
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak. You say I am held when I am falling short. When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours. And I believe, oh I believe. Oh I believe, yes I believe What you say of me Oh I believe.”
JLLDS Ministries 